such a long distance

It's crazy that in 2 hours you can be hours away from me, and that the distance between us can feel overwhelming. We live in an age when people argue that the world is smaller, but separation...is separation. Sure, technology has softened the blow through tools like Skype and FaceTime but the reality is that these tools also make the gap between us excruciating by giving us 2/3s of a relationship.   

Goodbyes lately feel more like open heart surgery. Call me melodramatic but truthfully I never thought that long distance could hurt so much.  So as you fly farther away from me, back to reality as you call it, I sit here, where we sat and feel a growing vacancy, and the amount that I miss you, surpasses my expectation.   

Give a little

What is it about twinkle lights, old christmas carols, and green garlands that invite a sense of peace and comfort.  Is it just nostalgia?   Or do these things together equate a magical reaction within our subconscious?
This time of year, as exams approach, final projects come to a close, the end of semester is anticipated with a sense of desperate intensity.  The magic of Christmas is imagined as, sitting beside a fire, knowing the ones you love are near by.  It is a time of year that seems to move in slow motion, at least in my memories.   The memories of laughing by a lit fire in the glow of the christmas tree, singing songs and visiting with those dearest to my heart makes the wait almost painful.   With provinces separating me from my loved ones, the autonomy I feel is magnified in this barren land.

Students come together during this time of year to present their watered down offerings of christmas, the sort of filler feelings that will substitute for the real thing for another few weeks.   Despite the fact that I want to be home now, I need to remember to appreciate the little family I have here, the people that I see on a daily basis, that I have grown to care about deeply.   I suggest that this holiday season we invest in relationships and people that don't have to legally love us. The people that come into our lives might need an extra dose of compassion and care.   As our world spins and stirs and heartache seems to lurks around too many corners, let us instil in the world a love and care for one another that is so desperately needed.  To augment the trauma and trials that overwhelm our world, let's choose to bless those we meet, by giving freely an extra big smile, or a welcoming hug, or even simply holding a door.   Those are gifts that everyone is able to give, and gifts that put back into humanity a sense of brotherhood essential to our world's vitality.

Look up.

After my new (ish) iPhone 5c decided to take a plunge in the toilet, I have banished into in a bag of brown rice for bad behavioir.   Believe it or not this is the second time this has happened to one of my iPhones, so this isn't my first "rodeo."   Being liberated from my beloved iPhone, I realized that it is a bit like a phantom limb.   I got to grab it, and realize that, "riiight... its in solitary confinement."   I have realized, (much to my dismay)  how much I rely now on this piece of technology.  I spend a good chunk of my day staring down at it, waiting for a text message from my honey, passing time on Pinterest, or feeling connected to other humans via Facebook.  If lost without this gadget I would remain lost for a very long time as the only phone numbers I've forced into my cranium are those that haven't change in 10 years and my best friend in the whole world who is two provinces away, so not much help to me in Manitoba.    

I've wondered lately why it feels like I have intense focus at all times, and now I think I know why.   So much of my life I see with a nearsightedness that blinds me to the wonders of the world.  I go from a. to b. with much intensity and purpose while in between those two stops I'm focusing intently on the latest update on Facebook 12 inches away from my face.  I forget to look up and see the sparkle in the snow, or appreciate from afar the going down of the sun and the array of colours that collect at the base of the sky's canvas.  These are the moments in life that remind us that we are alive.   It isn't watching another youtube video, or the 3rd season of Full House on Netflix.  Its human interaction and appreciating the beauty around us.  

As fall transitions to winter the days get shorter, bleaker and more grey, it is easy to slip into a foggy mindset that equates one day to the next.  Suddenly your week progresses like ticker tape, and very little stands out amongst the routine, repetition, and monochromatic world that surrounds you.   I want to live with farsighted intention, looking beyond myself, my phone (face to palm*/ashamed face*) and start to relearn the art of appreciating things from a distance and with intension.  As sad as my soggy phone is, I am glad of a mini break from my... obsession(?)  habit(?) crutch(?)  I forget to appreciate life outside of technology. Oh man, that is a sad realization.  

I found this on Pinterest:  

Lets try to look up more and down less...

Music

Performance Analyisis 

Shwarz and Copland Third, WSO. 
John William- Three pieces from Schindler’s List.

Violinist: Karl Stobbe.

A tall thin man, dressed in a black suit with tails stood solidly at the left of the conductor.  He faced a lacklustre audience that filled only half of the giant theatre. His violin and bow in either hand he inhaled calmly and then raised the violin to his chin and crossed his bow over the strings.   The orchestra, donned in black behind this man, played solemn full harmonies that compelled the spirit to follow along this musical journey as directed by the tall thin man’s violin.   

As a familiar tune echoed in a silent concert hall, a sense of soothing would lapse in and come over the room to be followed by a heart wrenching persistent ache.   This music designed and crafted to convey a story of bravery, heartache and horror during the Second World War that couldn’t be addressed with words or action when depicted in the film Schindler’s List, was now a vehicle for reflection for an audience many removed from the Holocaust horrors.  The richness of historic colors present in the music seemed to solemnly move its performer.   He remained a presence on stage but seemed to be small, and them music that surrounded his took precedence. Despite the sad beauty that encased the melody, painful and almost detached moments were evident for the violinist.    His body swayed with the melody that spoke of hardship, and with his eyes closed he seemed to see the faces of those affected by the terror.   With each crescendo the intensity swelled and his performance peaked yet again.

This performance was powerful because of the simplicity in which it was conveyed.  There need not be bells and whistle, the music expressed it all, and the performers was the instrument to amplify its message.     There was a humble gratitude that was present in the performers eyes as he received his stand ovation for his moving performance.   

distance

dis·tance

ˈdistəns/

noun

1. 1. 

   an amount of space between two things or people.

   
   

   There is a province between us.  1305.7 km, 15 hours of driving, a 2 hour flight, or a 263 hour walk.  There is too much space.  What this all equates to is a chasm that can't be filled, only remedied with FaceTime.   This expanse also becomes a breeding ground for miscommunication and frustration, that doesn't often exist under normal circumstances.   This is important to recognize.  

   
   

   I am a firm believer in that anything worth while does not come easy so, the challenge of a long distance relationship lines up with this philosophy for life.   By choosing to look at this time of separation as a training ground, and an opportunity to earn our stripes, we are able to figuring each other out from a new perspective,  however unwanted it is.  

   
   
2. 2. 

   the full length of a race.

   
   

   A relationship is a bit like a race, dating is training it is figuring if you have it in you to run a "marathon" with this person, it is an challenge but also is preparation for the real deal.   Once the race begins on that big day its about team work, support, encouragement and choosing to not give up on each other.   

   This distance I currently find myself is preparation, and fully relatable to the real meal deal.  
   

   
   

verb

1. 1. 

   make (someone or something) far off or remote in position or nature.

   The struggle with a long distance relationship  is trying to find that closeness despite the daunting separation.   

   
   

   
   

   
   

   Moral of the story is long distance sucks.  It isn't fun being apart from your best friend.  But there is merit in it, the challenge will strengthen the relationship and the time spent a part will establish endurance.  

   
   
   So go team!  

   
   

   
   

summer thoughts

MY FAVORITE KIND OF WEATHER IS WHEN THE SUN SHINE AND YET SOMEHOW THE SKY OPENS UP TO ALLOW RAIN TO FALL AND QUENCH THE THIRSTY DESERT GROUND. IN THE OKANAGAN THIS IS A REGULAR OCCURRENCE.  THE BEAUTY IN THOSE MOMENTS IS THE DICHOTOMY OF IT ALL, THE CONTRAST AND ALMOST IRONY THAT I CAN FEEL THE RAIN AND SUNSHINE AT THE SAME TIME.   

fall

They rushed around in dizzying patterns dressed in their fall colours.   Chasing one another as if in a game of tag relentlessly they raced.  While others twirled and danced in swirling circles, the festive outdoor display echoed the call of changing seasons.  The invisible force turned and manoeuvred them, forcing the fallen to move to and fro.