begin again

I began this summer full of hope and anticipation.  I had a bright future ahead of me, and little to stand in my way.   But as often happens in life, things didn't go according to plan.   Areas of my life had been exposed, revealing weakness and as a result have equated to much heartache.   As I pick myself up off the ground, and brush off the sting of disappointment, I realise that even under the most perfect circumstances, life is hard.   We are so blessed in this day and age, and have so much to be thankful for, and many would argue that we shouldn't complain about a hard life.  But regardless of walk of life, heartache is heartache.  

Disappointment is delivered in the form of not meeting expectations, or feeling threatened in an area of life in which you never anticipated.  It causes a ripple effect and trickles down from your psyche to your heart and weakens the fortress put in place there to preserve our sanity.   As I press forward, denying defeat and holding out with hope for a better future although my daily walk is tarnished with worry. 

It has had to be a daily choice to fall on my knees, because there life can't knock me down.  I am trusting that God has things worked out. I am trusting that I'll get the credits I need to graduate this year, that relationships will strengthened and grow, and that worry of the future will subside. 

 

The strength of patience hangs on our capacity to believe that God is up to something good for us in all our delays and detours. - John Piper