Rest and summer.

It feels like life has been in a constant state of flux for the past 4 years.  This theoretically could be my last year of university, but because I transferred I am bound to the life of an academic for an additional annum. This summer I sought to find myself again after a year of dizzyingly difficult situations and changes.   I limited my work week to part time, a sacrifice financially, and allowed myself time for me.   My mental state going into the summer break was brittle and tired.  I needed reprise from decision and deadlines, heart ache and the hardship I found myself surrounded by in Winnipeg.   Thankfully I found the serenity I needed, and it came in a different way than I expected. 



I made the decision this summer to rest, and not feel pressure to perform or practice or please my inner perfectionist.   I gave myself a break which, looking back I might regret as the work piles begin to form and the outline of my next two semesters are traced in my mind.   I doubt, even as deadlines race towards me that I will regret even a minute of my summer free of school-like thoughts.  I think in the midst of packing, good-byes and change I forget the exhausted state I wearily brought myself home in.  I see only what is coming and almost view the much needed reprise as an oversight, or ill timed decisions.  

I know I am happier than I have ever been.  My heart nearly burst today as I was surrounded by family and dear friends that I have grown to love deeply.  My summer, although unproductive in many aspects was invaluable because it allowed me time to breath, and remember what life could and can feel like.   As I embark on another scholastic year, armed with knowledge that I am loved and cared for by not only an amazing family, but also the love of my life, I know I can tackle challenges I couldn't have faced without these three months of rest and rejuvenation. 

 

Summer is quickly coming to a close.   These words that it pains me to write as I hate the thought of separation between me and the ones I love.   As the distances grows larger, I hope and pray that our bounds grow stronger.