How to be still

When was the last time you were still?   

Or the last time you quieted your thoughts and worries, and just rested?  

This world spins faster and faster and toils more and more with each passing day. In such a fast paced world we are fuelled by deadlines, requirement and problems that need to be solved on the fly. These ingredients don’t make for a peaceful planet, or peace-filled people.   

What do you do when life starts to combust and the frustrations of life wear you down?    I watched a video by Dale Partridge (link below)  this morning and the last 1 minute or so he explains the importance of slowing down. I believe it is in the recovery period of out sprint to "the life we want" that we find peace, and contentment and real life.   Striving is great, but it puts our bodies into a perpetual state of restlessness.  I believe it is in our still moments that we hear God's gentle voice, and feel his guiding hand on our lives.   We are inundated with things, and wishes and wants to a point that we are too distracted to recognize our lives are wasting away.  

I wrote about two years ago, " ...I think that I crave the endlessness of the ocean, and the majesty of mountains, or the expanse of the stars when life becomes a series of pressure points and stresses.   There is something about feeling small in the midst of nature's grandeur that reminds us that our problems, often in the grand scheme of things, are small too.  I ache right now for the serenity that I know the rocky jagged peaks of mountains can offer, to rediscover the tranquility of the sea lapping on the sandy shore, or to feel fresh air rush past my body and fill my empty lungs. There is something simple and uncomplicated in being under a canvas of stars, even though their twinkling constellations ignite finite questions."

"...I am guilty of looking at life the wrong way.   I see this chapter in the book of time almost like a holding tank while I am preparing for "real life"  but that is scary mentality to have.  We are constantly hoping and striving for more, for better.... for the next best thing.   Contentment is a dying art.   If it isn't appreciating the Iphone 4 that's in your hand because there exists a better, faster, shinier model, or the ability to take a breath and enjoying this moment however uncomfortable or stressful it is because of the anticipation for the next thing, we will live our lives without ever appreciating what we actually have.   All we have is this moment right now. I am guilty of always wondering if there will be something better around the corner...  that curiosity however, seems to only extend as far as what I "can control." I don't want to always be searching.  It is exhausting to turn over every rock, and to look into every cranny.  So despite the unknowns, despite the worries, and fears or curiosity of something more... I want to choose to appreciate right now."

Apparently this search for peace is a common one for me.   Life is hard - no matter how hard to try to control it, it is a wild beast that will not be tamed.   We tend to hold on to things that will fade, or change, or grow, and try to tell them to stay the same.  But our reality on this earth is that we have 24 hours in a day, 7 days in a week and 365 days in a year.   There is a moment in between each other those milestone where we get to start again.   

https://www.facebook.com/DaleJPartridge/videos/1674328366117596/ 

Good things take time.

We walked on a carpet of yellow leaves.  I was wearing my peacoat and a very positive attitude.   As the fragrance of fall filled my lungs,  I enjoyed the moments where peace settled as the sun streamed through the falling leaves.   All was calm.   Then in a moment, you grabbed my hand and the colour seem brighter, and the fragrance sweeter.  How do you do that?   

It's walks like those that I start to compile analysis of myself.  I search the inner most part of my being for flaws and struggle to find solutions to the "problems." I am a complicated being.  I strive for perfection in most areas of my life, and likewise wish it upon imperfect people in my life.   But the reality is that no one can come close.  We are dominated by selfishness and insecurities that stack weight on our shoulders that we perceive as a shield.  But what would happen if in those moments of searching for the fabled perfection, we search for our humanity instead and shrug off the weight of perfection. Perhaps the realization that perfect doesn't exist is a healthy one.   I am realizing that this search for perfection hurts more than it does help.   I have pushed away so many things because of this impossible quest.  

As the leaves leave the trees to find their rest at the base of what was once their home, the season is about to change again.  But each year and each season the trees get stronger and bare more fruit than the last.   Good things take time, and perfection is a false ideology and goal that wastes precious time.  

hope for tomorrow

We tend to try to safeguard against hurt. We put up barriers, and pray that they withstand life. But sometimes life forces itself through all our precautions and suddenly a storm encircles you. I somehow I managed to weather the worst storm of my life. I survived it. I came out the other end, and feel stronger, wiser, and older. I know now that storms sometimes are followed by mini storms that shake an already weary spirit. My faith in life had felt destroyed. But the realization that, I am fortunate to know that my faith isn't in life, it's in the creator of it. That knowledge, as strong as it is, isn't always reflected in my ability to cope. There are days when I desperately want to pack all my things up and move to Mexico, or just escape- somehow even for a little bit. Looking back on this year I can't believe how wildly life has shaken me. I can't believe how much the shine has worn off, and I now find myself discovering a slight bitter taste in my mouth. That sensation isn't one that my spirit defaults to, but I feel like it's the result of being kicked down so many times. Despite that, I keep picking myself up and brushing the hurt off, but man, it wears you down. I don't want to be bitter. I don't want to resent things in life, or feel like all the beautiful things have lost there beauty somehow but man life is hard sometimes. 

But you carry on and press on with hope for a brighter tomorrow, and more often than not the brighter tomorrow brings some reprieve from the storms rough winds.

Maybe the most important tid-bit in this is that my faith isn't in life, it is in its creator, the sustainer and perfecter of all things.   Life is hard sometimes, but there is always hope for tomorrow.