‘Isn’t
it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different...' – C.S. Lewis
I have walked down the same road for
four years.
I’ve collected memories, lessons and
wisdom along the way much like stamps in a passport. I never questioned, or wondered where I was
going. But I believed I’d get “there,”
wherever “there” is. After investing whole heartedly into this adventure, I now
see that each twist and turn along the way helped shape me and has brought me
to where I am now… a very obvious fork in the road. After a close examination of my life I’ve
decided to step off the well-trodden path and try something new, start a brand new
adventure, this time with a destination in mind. This decision to be fearless
and bold starts out with a fearful first step. As I inch my way outside of my
comfort zone, I realize that, as Pinterest says, life begins at the end of your
comfort zone.
I have learned so many valuable lessons
about music, art, hard work, and patience. I’ve learned more about my gift of
song on this journey, and discovered that forcing it into fruition dissipates
my love for it rapidly. I’ve learned
that my heart doesn’t desire what it was on the path to produce. I want to love my art form, not resent it. I want to desire it, and not push it
away. I am told these are all common
symptoms of an over educated music major, but at the root of this decision is
the realization that I never really
wanted this. It began as an escape
route, a legitimate one, following a hobby I was passionate about. I never fully examined the final result of
this choice, I felt as though I was perpetually 21 and I never aged or
questioned. I was oblivious to the
choices I’d have to make and unaware of the cost them. I now realize what I want in career and
sadly that realization has morphed my path into something completely
different.
These realizations coupled with other
factors have allowed me to reach this conclusion with some confidence. But despite this, there is still pain in
growing up and still sadness in leaving something I loved behind. I have met some of the most amazing people
along the way, people that have thoroughly enriched my life and have made me a
better person for knowing them. As excited,
as I am to start something new, I have moments of sadness realizing that this
chapter in my life is coming to a close.
I think this is me growing up. It is the realization of what I really
want out of life. Music will always be
a part of me and I will always value my time as a music student, but its time
for something else.
Many people wont understand, and that’s
okay. I’m not turning my back on my art form; I am simply expanding my focus
and realizing more of my potential.
To all my dear friends that have
supported me in my pursuit of music… thank you.
