Prodigal's Son

I find myself again aware of a vacancy within me, a hole that can’t seem to be filled, a desire to again feel small and for nature to feel all encompassing.  Perhaps this thirst for nature isn’t what it seems.  Maybe under a microscope I would see that it is more than a desire for escape, or a need for my problems to feel small.   Maybe upon a close examination it is simply a craving for closeness to the creator of all I see and feel around me.  There, in nature’s cathedrals, is an intimacy that in vain, many have attempted to recreate with stone and stained glass.  No matter how far I run away, I still desire the closeness of “home.”  Despite my selfish and ignorant behavior my soul still seeks the solace found in Him.  I seek it in the wilderness because it is tangible.   I can see the wind move the budding branches of the trees, and feel the sun warm my face as grass gather at my feet and cool air fills my lungs with nourishing fresh air. Why do hours of hiking and exertion seem easier to accomplish than simply opening the word? 

A Brooke Fraser song is echoing in my mind… “...the comfort of you near is what I long for, when I can’t hear you I have learn to reach out just the same, when I can’t feel you I know you still hear every word I pray…”

I fail everyday... but You never do.   You are constant, even when I define the word inconsistent.  You forgive me!